My wife and I were planning a romantic spring vacation I must admit the concept came from my own instigation Knowing that my honey was afraid to take a plane I said "Let's go to Portland on the Coastal Starlight Train" We drove to San Francisco, took the bus to Emeryville Caught the train to Sacramento, that's where everything stood still...
At two a.m. they woke us up to say we'd all be bussing We tried to get some sleep amid the crying and the cussing The bus rolled into Klamath Falls at 8:15 a.m. And a mere two hours later we was down the track again
Dear Amtrak I want my money back If I ever get off of this train, I a'int never gonna get back on again Your railroad is the shits - they got better service on the way to Auschwitz Oh yeah; oh yeah
The conductor was the biggest jerk I'd met in all my life The waitresses were meaner than my nastiest ex-wife The glossy brochure told us that the food was fresh and hardy But it tasted just like leftovers from the Donner Party The mattresses were paper thin, the bed just two feet deep But it doesn't really matter 'cuz they never let you sleep
Dear Amtrak I want my money back If I ever get off of this train, I a'int never gonna get back on again And now you done closed the bar, I coulda got better service on a cattle car Oh yeah; oh yeah
On the way back home from Portland the engine suddenly stopped Like a scene from a Wes Craven film right before they all get chopped The power died, the lights went off and everything went black By that time I was certain we was never getting back A voice came on the speaker just to tell us what's the scoop You can't eat and you can't drink and you can't pee and you can't poop
Dear Amtrak I want my money back I must've been quite insane, to think about riding on a railroad train If you know what's good for you, just stay home and have yourself a BBQ Oh yeah; oh yeah
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Copy to Clipboard: My wife and I were planning a romantic spring vacation I must admit the concept came from my own instigation Knowing that my honey was afraid to take a plane I said "Let's go to Portland on the Coastal Starlight Train" We drove to San Francisco, took the bus to Emeryville Caught the train to Sacramento, that's where everything stood still...
At two a.m. they woke us up to say we'd all be bussing We tried to get some sleep amid the crying and the cussing The bus rolled into Klamath Falls at 8:15 a.m. And a mere two hours later we was down the track again
Dear Amtrak I want my money back If I ever get off of this train, I a'int never gonna get back on again Your railroad is the shits - they got better service on the way to Auschwitz Oh yeah; oh yeah
The conductor was the biggest jerk I'd met in all my life The waitresses were meaner than my nastiest ex-wife The glossy brochure told us that the food was fresh and hardy But it tasted just like leftovers from the Donner Party The mattresses were paper thin, the bed just two feet deep But it doesn't really matter 'cuz they never let you sleep
Dear Amtrak I want my money back If I ever get off of this train, I a'int never gonna get back on again And now you done closed the bar, I coulda got better service on a cattle car Oh yeah; oh yeah
On the way back home from Portland the engine suddenly stopped Like a scene from a Wes Craven film right before they all get chopped The power died, the lights went off and everything went black By that time I was certain we was never getting back A voice came on the speaker just to tell us what's the scoop You can't eat and you can't drink and you can't pee and you can't poop
Dear Amtrak I want my money back I must've been quite insane, to think about riding on a railroad train If you know what's good for you, just stay home and have yourself a BBQ Oh yeah; oh yeah
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